What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
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