Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He felt like a one man threesome
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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