where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
