break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
