Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
