I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
