420 ftw
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
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