What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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