i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
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