I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Randomize