My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Randomize
