woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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