Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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