I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
last night I used snow as a chaser
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize