How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
