How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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