Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
