shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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