Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
