Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
