So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
Randomize
