your thong is hanging out like whoa
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
