R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
