carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
