I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
