please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
