He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Randomize
