You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
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