I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
