He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
