a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize