Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
