is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
