What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize