How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
That reminds me...we need to get swords
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
