their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize
