I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
