I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
