I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
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