He is an equal opportunity slut.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
