so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Randomize
