I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
