Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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