No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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