I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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