Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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