Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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