I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
The struggles of a small town man whore
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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