I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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