sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Randomize
