3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
