I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
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