i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
