First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
