I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Randomize
