Please, let me fuck your mom
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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