apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Mom said you looked used
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
