I just made out with a guy for $7.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
