My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
My vagina is officially offended.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
